The Finnish Silence

The topic of Finnish silence is very important to Finnish culture, and of course to spoken Finnish. It’s about time I wrote about it even if I’m still not totally sure how this post turned out to be or if I’m really doing any justice to this topic. This time I’m not teaching you any grammar or vocabulary, but a lesson about the culture.

If you’ve spent time with Finnish people, you probably have experienced the Finnish silence. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, let me try to explain it with a scenario: you’re hanging out with a Finn. At some point there’s a moment of silence in the conversation. How would you react to it? Would you attempt to fill the silence with for example small talk?

Many Finns would find the concept of small talk awkward and consider a moment of silence better than frantically trying to find something to say. This is a bit different from many other cultures in which the silence would feel more uncomfortable than small talk.

I’ve become quite aware of my silence, but there are still moments when my non-Finnish friends are very worried that I’m bored or even shy. In this kind of situations I try to explain them that in my culture silence is often considered better than small talk and most of all, that I feel so comfortable with them that I don’t need to come up with conversation topics just to fill in the silence. Just to be clear, I’m jealous of you who were brought up in cultures that value casual conversations. I’m trying to learn the art of small talk and sometimes it’s just so difficult.

Sure there are situations in which the silence isn’t due to feeling comfortable. For example, if you need to take an elevator with a stranger (I think we all at least dislike this, regardless of our cultural backgrounds) it’ll be at least awkward. This is usually a worst nightmare for Finns that we cope with staring at the walls or by fumbling with our phones pretending to text someone. If you end up alone in an elevator with a Finn you don’t know, do not, I repeat, do not attempt small talk. Unless you’re a sadist and wish to see them break out in cold sweat.

Let’s get back to the silence you might have with a someone you know. If your cultural senses tell you that your friend is bored or too shy to speak, you’re probably wrong. Chances are, they just feel comfortable enough with you and might not even notice the silence. How to deal with such situations, you may ask. The first bit of advice I come up with is: relax. I doubt your friend is so rude that they’d just ignore you. There’s no need to panic, and it’s totally fine to come up with something to talk about. Finns are great listeners, we won’t interrupt you.

With this post I wanted to introduce the concept of Finnish silence to you. I hope you can learn to differentiate the types of silence and notice when it’s the comfortable silence. I warmly welcome discussion regarding this topic if you have any questions.